jaew - sunk deeper, found nothing

released December 28, 2023.


not to trauma dump,, but...

2023 was a fucked up year cuz i had a Gender-Oriented mental breakdown. i already hit mental rock bottom once, around the late spring into early summer. for some reason, after doing much better mentally for months, i had a second bout of those same feelings right after Christmas. everything crashed down again, mentally. the little flashes of hope i had were gone.

two days into that, instead of spending another night self harming and sobbing into my pillow like i would've otherwise, i said to myself - "FUCK IT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST MAKE AN ALBUM OR SOMETHING?"

so i sat down at my computer, turned off my wifi, clock, and phone, and stayed up til 4am making this collage. i quickly mastered two IDM tracks that i still think are some of my best work (and will probably show up on future releases), and smashed em together with a handful of ambient songs and sketches.

it's,,, evocative? like i said, the two IDM tracks (deadweight and healing) are some of my favorite things i've ever made. i don't know why i put that Willis Earl Beal cover in there, but y'know, i did.