jaew - sunk deeper, found nothing
released December 28, 2023.
『bandcamp』not to trauma dump,, but...
2023 was a fucked up year cuz i had a Gender-Oriented mental breakdown. i already hit mental rock bottom once, around the late spring into early summer. for some reason, after doing much better mentally for months, i had a second bout of those same feelings right after Christmas. everything crashed down again, mentally. the little flashes of hope i had were gone.
two days into that, instead of spending another night self harming and sobbing into my pillow like i would've otherwise, i said to myself - "FUCK IT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST MAKE AN ALBUM OR SOMETHING?"
so i sat down at my computer, turned off my wifi, clock, and phone, and stayed up til 4am making this collage. i quickly mastered two IDM tracks that i still think are some of my best work (and will probably show up on future releases), and smashed em together with a handful of ambient songs and sketches.
it's,,, evocative? like i said, the two IDM tracks (deadweight and healing) are some of my favorite things i've ever made. i don't know why i put that Willis Earl Beal cover in there, but y'know, i did.
addendum 7.8.2024
this is not bragging or being full of myself, but this is deeply honest and raw to an honestly shocking level compared to my other releases, going back. this is the clearest portrait of the fog and dirt i was trapped in throughout 2023. some of the lowest lows of my life.
see also:
jaew - runt litter
